check it out

Please check out my flickr, im starting back up with photography, right now im looking to do weddings and portraits. I have a wedding booked soon and some senior pictures for some friends.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bnayhenderson/

Song of the week/EXAM WEEK

Make it Out- Austin Crane

Well I saw it, I don't believe it.
I've got proof, you want reasons
I got a letter in the mail today, it had a postscript twice arranged.

I fought it, I can't believe it.
I know truth is truth to demons.
I've got a fever and it's hot as day,
it's taught me lessons that I've burned away.

Well I stole, and I didn't need it.
I took a blessing dressed in sheepskin.
I've got a reason and its justified,
It's not her own, because its only right.

Well sometimes you just gotta take a hint.
Sometimes they never try to understand.
Sometimes just gotta help yourself.
Otherwise your never gonna make it, out.

Well I ran, but I can't beat it.
I grew fat off my deceiving.
I met an angel in a hotel.
My brother is running,
and he's mad as hell.

I smile and i don't mean it.
I've got a home and it's now leaning.
And I know I give her into taking.

He's got a plans for breaking,
My ribs,
My hands,
My will,
My love,
My time to kill.

From http://www.lyricsmania.com/make_it_out_lyrics_austin_crane.html
Sometimes you've just gotta take a hint.
Sometimes you're never gonna understand.
Sometimes you just gotta love yourself.
Otherwise your never gonna make it out.

So in the morning, now it shines your face.
It covers all those plans I've made.
So sit down, baby don't cry.
I'm the one who told you all the time
that I'm still trying too

Well I made it, I couldn't keep it.
I contact with your defeated,
Brother in a foreign country.
I don't know what he sees.

Well i smile, and god I mean it.
I've got a home and its not leaning.
I know I give her into taking
He runs a river through the plans I'm making.

Well sometimes you've gotta take a hint.
Sometimes you never understand.
Sometimes you gotta ask for help.
Otherwise you're never gonna make it out

it's not always about numbers, it is Always about changing a person's life.

In my Kinesiology class, we are required are to do two hours of community service. I am a volunteer leader at Coastal Community Church; so I decided to just use that as my community service, even though I definitely have put in more than two hours. Then we had to write about the experience and relate it to bible verses and the 7 wellness of health so here it is;


Every tuesday from 5:00 till 8:30, I go to Coastal Community Church and serve with the

middle school youth group called Uprising. I have been involved with this youth group since last

February, but really started working with the middle schoolers this fall. I have known the youth

pastor Sean Clements and his wife Melissa for about six years. Every Tuesday I get there early

and help set up. We break out tables and chairs and prepare food. I also started leading a creative

skit team two months ago. A few kids come early and we make videos about respecting each

other and the church, and then each week a video is played at the service. There are about eleven

other volunteers that come and help with the youth also. Uprising has about thirty middle

schoolers on a good Tuesday night. This experience focuses on all seven wellness' of

health. Spending time with the kids and getting to know them on a daily basis and encourage

them to grow on their walk with God deal with emotional, social, and spiritual wellness. The

physical wellness plays apart because we play games every week outside that involve running

around like capture the flag or freeze tag. Intellectual wellness is important because the kids are

learning about themselves and what they want to believe in. Environmental is apart of the youth

group because we teach the youth to take of the church and themselves. The last wellness is

occupational, Uprising has created a healthy environment for the youth, but also me. Since I am

a leader there, and the kids look up to me, being apart of Uprising helps me learn what I need to

do to set a better example for them. I chose this experience because I’ve helping others and I

love kids. Uprising has made be find out more about myself and my decision making. Whenever

I do something I think of the kids.

The bible verse “We love because he first loved us” from 1 John 4:19, is very important

to me. I love these kids, because Jesus loves me. I can show them how much Jesus can love them

through hanging out with them. The other verse comes from Ephesians 4:11-13, “It was He who

gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors

and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be

built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become

mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” I have applied this verse to this

experience by understanding that God has a purpose for everyone. My purpose at Uprising is

have a serving kind heart towards the kids. My relationship with Christ has grown since

Uprising, and it will continue to grow.




I take time out of my life to go and hangout with these kids and make a difference in their life. It gets me through my week. Churches should stop focusing on how many people show up, it will happen just dont focus on it! Focus on getting a message to them, students don't know you care until you show them you care.

major, minor

after changing my major three times i have finally decided!

Major-Communication Emphasis-Communication
Minor-Sociology

song of the week

back to december- Taylor swift


I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me, how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why
Because the last time you saw me will still burn in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowing my pride,
standin' in front of you, sayin' I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom aint nothin' but missin' you, wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time

These days I haven't been sleepin'
Stayin' up playin' back myself leavin'
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughin' from the passenger side and
I realized I loved you in the fall
Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride, standin' in front of you, sayin' I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom aint nothin' but missin' you, wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand

This is me swallowing my pride, standin' in front of you, sayin' I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December
It turns out freedom aint nothin' but missin' you, wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it aright
i go back to December turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time
All the time



Okay i really don't care for taylor swift anymore, she is horrible live. but she can write amazing lyrics.

I think it shows a more humble side of Taylor that we rarely get to see in her songs. She's usually singing about how she was right and someone did her wrong (You're Not Sorry, Picture to Burn, Should Have Said No, Forever & Always, White Horse, etc), or how she's better than her crush's girlfriend(Speak Now, You Belong With Me). Here, she's acknowledging that she made mistakes and she's apologizing to the person she hurt. It actually reminds me of Breathe, which is one of my favorite songs.

The lyrics are pretty straightforward;She's meeting with her ex and admitting that she wasn't treating him right when they were together.

Then she goes on to say that she remembers the moments they spent together, how it was fun in the beginning, how she realized she was in love with him and finally how she got scared and decided to leave him. This is the moment she keeps going back to in her mind. She wishes she could have known what he meant to her back when they were still together, before she broke up with him.At the end of the song, she says that she misses him and that she wants to get back with him, but that she understands if he's scared of being hurt again.

For me, the point of the song is much more about realizing what you have before it's too late than about trying to guess which of taylor's ex-boyfriend this song is about.

bbc book list

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma -Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno - Dante
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

I have some reading to do :D

thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! :]

feelings

feelings are not facts

song of the week

Talking in Code- Margot and Nuclear So and Sos

I gotta go and you're talking in code,
saying I know where you've been,
And I know where you go.

But I've been tired
from the minute I woke,
I stopped listening
the moment you spoke,
And said I'm long gone.
Yeah I'm long gone....

And I'm sleeping alone,
In a house I don't own,
'Cause if you're touring your mind,
You'll get lost everytime.

And you'll sing me sad songs
to keep me awake,
in that bedroom we hid away.
Baby I'm long gone,
Yeah I'm long gone....

And your voice cracks like a piano,
You keep moving
but where are you going.
Baby we're long gone,
Yeah we're long gone....

All my friends are getting married...im just getting lonely.

Numbers have so much control in my life, especially when it comes to age. I have this problem where i compare myself to people, not to their bodies or their cars, or whatever is important to others, but to their age. im a student in college and people my age are getting engaged and marries and even already have kids

I think it has really made me notice the expectations that come with age. In life people ask your age and assume things with it - looking at buying your own place? graduating this year? married? kids?



I dont understand where this age pressure comes from, i could understand it if it was about looks or similar due to advertising and the such.
I'm tired of always looking for someone, im ready for a real relationship, even just a good friendship would be nice.
I thought I made new friends this school year but they have all stopped talking to me now. I don't understand, you would THINK at a christian school people would be nicer, but they are just fake. Probably transferring to COFC next fall

push and shove

if you wanna push then i'm ready to push, but if you're pulling while i'm pushing then why'd you ask me to push?






I lack the ability to become close to people, it's not that i don't want to its that i don't know how, almost as if i have nothing to offer, and maybe i don't - well didn't, but now i am not so sure, i hope that my confidence and sense of me will flow back into me.

song of the week

december-lydia


It was four or five of everything, as you are no good.
I saw it through the frame and through my face.
Covering my eyes, because we are nothing, and never quite the same from a black and white summer.
With photographs that showed our rails and razorblades.
I think it cured my pain, again.

Promise you will go down my neck,
Just like those pills and your cigarette.

So as my fingers curl, I move my lips just so you won't have to.
Damnit you clever girl, your style is keeping us from sleep. One more and I'm free, oh we've been so lucky, yeah we've been so likely to lose. So give in, let's give in.

It's all suicide if I hide.
Because you are everywhere I look and in my skin.
I taste your neck and lips just from breathing in.
Let's call it off kid.
But through the window you reach for the cold.
But the door is so much closer, and the sun has sold itself to the land and all over my skin.
No! No! Stop it, stop him.

So what, so what, we all were all afraid.
So this I swear I know, it's not the chemicals.
You are off my mind, I finally got away.
You said it's such a life to remember, so come on, and we'll sleep away Decemeber.
It was you, bringing your white company.
Bringing the night so it seemed.
And we will never sleep again.
So as you walk through the door, and yell I'm never coming back here.
It's over we are still nothing.

in like

we've been here once before.
i feel like we have already tried this
so why are you coming back?
we know it can't happen any time soon.
summer 2011 please come faster
i am so in like with you

lately...

"And I wrote a letter
To my family
Said it's not your fault
And you've been good to me
Just lately I've been feeling
Like I don't belong
Like the ground's not mine
To walk upon
And I've heard that music
Echo through the house
Where my grandmother drank
By herself
And I sat watching a flower
As it was withering
I was embarrassed by
It's honesty
So I'd prefer to be remembered
As a smiling face
Not this fucking wreck
That's taken it's place"

basically that song, sums up how i had been feeling for the past week before tonight. Last weekend I went on a mission trip to Asheville, NC. I was so beautiful there, If you haven't been there, I suggest go. Anyways. Here's what I did, We did there:



We left thursday morning and arrived there early afternoon.
-Biltmore Bapist Church to meet with the college director to learn more about human trafficking. It is in the US! Every two minutes a child somewhere is being prepared for trafficking. Porn is a $11 billion industry, #1 crime by the time 2011 comes in the US will sex trafficking. 12-14 years old is the average age for when girls start getting traffciked, 12. that is so young, and its because they are so vunerable they will believe anything a guy tells them.

Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his[a]faith.-Romans 12:4-6

Friday morning- We went at toured a christian radio station called the light 106.9. It was located at Billy Grahm's "The Cove" which is a beautiful chapel.

Then we met up with some interns at Hope House (a place for girls who have been through traffciking to stay, to get them clean and work with them) and some people from the Church we met with the night before. We all then went to a truck stop and did a silent peaceful protest against sex trafficking, We had many people come and ask us questions, It was really good, awaring people about what was going on.





Friday night was probably my favorite part of the trip. We went to a church and served them. The church was doing a missions theatre dinner. So half us prepared the meal, and the other half served it, I served it. and I enjoyed every second of it. I loved talking to people and serving them. It was alot of fun.

Sat morning- We went to downtown asheville with Hope House, and passed out flyers to local business about awaring people about sex trafficking. then we all went to Wild Wings for lunch, it was a great way to end the trip.



When i got back to school I was right back into school mode, well kind of. I don't think Im really ever all the way into school mode, anyways. i forgot about how much God had showed me. I take that for granted everyday. God is EVERYWHERE!

And I always see God when I am at UPRSING( the middle school youth group i voulnteer at) I've been taking everything for granted lately. And tonight I hung out with the middle school girls, and God just slapped me across the face, reminding me how much I love being there with them, and that's why i want to be a social worker, I just get so unmotivated so easily. all the time. But GOD is EVERYWHERE. and those girls are going to be my motivation for the next four or five years of college.

song of the week

You be the anchor that keeps my feet on my ground,i'll be the wings that keep your heart in the clouds-Mayday Parade


And honestly, I have been begging for answers
That you and only you can give to me
A voice crying loud
I've been crying for days now
And as I start to run, I stop to breathe

(And I was nearly scared to death)
And I was nearly scared to death
(Of what you left in paragraphs)
Of what you left in paragraphs
(The words were nearly over us)
The words were nearly over us
You stop and turn and grab your bags

And I'll be here by the ocean
Just waiting for proof that there's
Sunsets and silhouette dreams
All my sand castles fall
Like the ashes of cigarettes
And every waves drags me to sea
I could stand here for hours
Just to ask God the question
Is everyone here make-believe?
With a tear in His voice
He said, "Son, that's the question."
Does this deafening silence mean nothing
To no one but me?

As hours move to minutes
And minutes take longer to break
I will be desperately awaiting
But my tongue won't fall apart
And we've been sitting here for hours
All alone and in the dark

So let me think of how to word it
Is it too soon to say "perfect"?
If I could find another thirty minutes somewhere
I'm sure everything would find me
All that's left is just to sing

And I'll be here by the ocean
Just waiting for proof that there's
Sunsets and silhouette dreams
All my sand castles fall
Like the ashes of cigarettes
And every waves drags me to sea
I could stand here for hours
Just to ask God the question
Is everyone here make-believe?
With a tear in His voice
He said, "Son, that's the question."
Does this deafening silence mean nothing
To no one but me?

And if you sing to me sweet till then
I may never sail Virginia again
And as this current moves slow for me
This much you must know
We'll meet again
And El, I'll have you know I'm scared to death

Tell me once again
That you'll love me to the death
And should I die
You swear that you will come for me
As I fade away, you reach out your arms
(And please don't let me go)
And please don't let me go
(And please don't let me go)
And please don't let me go

And I'll be here by the ocean
Just waiting for proof that there's
Sunsets and silhouette dreams
All my sand castles fall
Like the ashes of cigarettes
And every waves drags me to sea
I could stand here for hours
Just to ask God the question
Is everyone here make-believe?
With a tear in His voice
He said, "Son, that's the question."
Does this deafening silence mean nothing
To no one but me?

heartless

you can't lead me on any longer. i know the game, and i'm tired of it.

half of my heart's got a grip on the situation, half of my heart takes time

mission

MISSION:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days. Tasks must be specific with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part). Why 1001 Days? Many people have created lists in the past – frequently simple goals such as New Year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks. be inspired to make your own list!
Start date: October 9, 2010 End date: July 6, 2013
{FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS}
01. Call one family member a week to see how they are doing.
02. Call mom/dad at least once a week.
03. Visit the Starnes
04. Visit Aunt Teresa
05. Go on a trip with the family
06. Visit Ana
07. Have family dinners with the gang
08. Take Michael to dinner, once a month
09. Have a family movie night.
10. Ask each family member for their favorite recipe to make a homemade book.
11. Road trip with Erin
12. Take Oldford Kids for a photoshoot
13. Make cookies with mom over thanksgiving and xmas break!

{CREATIVE & LEARN}
14. Paint a picture and hang it up!
15. Write a poem.
16. Finger paint!
17. Attend a play/musical.
18. Read at least 10 new books. (0/10)
19. See a movie by myself.
20. Learn to knit a scarf.
21. Have a book of photos made as a portfolio.
22. Take a painting class.
23. Learn to play a song on the piano.
24. Make a year in pictures album
25. complete a sudoku puzzle book.
26. learn to decorate a cake.
27. Learn some common phrases of sign language.
28. eat in ten new restaurants
29. write a christmas letter and send to friends/family.

{ENTERTAINMENT & TRAVEL}
30. Take a road trip with friends.
31. Have a weekend away in Myrtle Beach, SC.
32. Eat at The Cheesecake Factory!
33. Visit New York City.
34. Go camping.
35. Go on a boat in the Charleston Harbor.
36. Go kayaking.
37. Visit at least one theme park.
38. Go to the zoo.
39. Visit Ireland
40. Go on a cruise with friends.
41. Go to a flea market.
42. Go thrift!
{ORGANIZE}
43. Clean out closet and donate!
44. get a book shelf
45. clean out desk once a month
46. find a place for everything
47. make a first aid kit for my car.
48. Clean the car at least once a month.
49. update music on itunes
50. upload pics to flickr

{FOR MYSELF}
51. Get 200 lens
52. Use my passport.
53. Go to Forever 21
54. A weekend ALONE.
55. Get a mani/pedi.
56. Encourage someone to make a list!
57. Walk the bridge
58. Spend a day with Sean and Melissa
59. have 5 people evaluate me on 4 different areas of my life. (honestly)
60. Work out and eat healthy.
61. lose weight and maintain for 6 months
62. go on a date.

{FOR OTHERS}
63. Give blood.
64. Help build a house for Habitat for Humanity.
65. Go barefoot for a day (TOMS Day)
66. Do five random acts of kindness. (0/5)
67. learn CPR.
68. Donate to charity. (0/200)
69. Get at least one person to make a 101 list.
70. Cook dinner for friends.
71. Attend a volunteer event t.
72. Teach creative team an awesome skit.

{FUN}
73. Attend a concert, any concert.
74. Go to a drive-in movie.
75. Buy a bike.
76. 80's roller skating
77. Watch the sunrise and sunset in the same day.
78. Try a new haircut.
79. Get a cabin for a weekend.
80. go on shopping spree
81. have a girls night out
82. get a toy yorkie or kittykat.
83. sing karaoke.

84. Go to a festival.
85. Have a guest blogger each month.
86. Learn
87. Have a tshirt blanket made.
88. make tye-dye shirt.
{BUSINESS & CAREER & MONEY}
89. Start a fund jar for vacationing
90. Put away $10 every month.
91. Look for career opportunities.
92. start a small business.
93. look into missions
94. give money to coastal
95. give money to volleyball team
96. build a resume.
97. journal ideas for career
98.upgrade camera equipment.
99. go to coinstar
100. $$ for creative team
101. have 15 people evaluate me on my leadership.

update on life

- school has been very busy lately, and i have not been putting much effort into it. i really am going to have to kick butt after fall break, speaking of fall break thursday through sat night i will be in asheville, nc working with women who went through trafficking.

-friends, have been amazing, but one of them really should stop lying because the group is tired of it, if you have not noticed.

i really miss my highschool friends, but at the same time they arent making an effort to see me, so were they even my friends in the first place?

the weather is awesome

song of the week

"The Only Exception"--Paramore

When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched as he tried to reassemble it

And my mama swore
That she would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But, darling, you are the only exception
But you are the only exception
But you are the only exception
But you are the only exception

Well, maybe I know somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Or keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable distance
And up until now, I had sworn to myself
That I'm content with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, you are the only exception
Well, you are the only exception
Well, you are the only exception
Well, you are the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up
Leave me of some kind of proof it's not a dream, oh

You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, and I'm on my way to believing

gospel proof

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLv-_EznYk4

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.-John 3:16

We have heard or seen this verse our lifes, if we were raised in a church. But do we beleive it? Do we live it out? I know more then most of the time I do not. Yeah i can be a voulnteer in a church, I can go to a christian school, I know the stories, but am I devoting all of my attention to God? No, I can't even give God an hour of my time a day but He sent his SON to DIE for me. That makes me feel sick. I know no one is perfect and everyone make mistakes (even I do) but the least I can do is devote and hour a day to spend with God. Whats the point of being a christian if you aren't going to act like one? POINTLESS.

God is Love. Love is God.

Stop being a lazy bum and go doing something for God not for yourself.

supposed to be family. we are blood

You have a sister who sincerely believes that you don't like her. I mean, she's trying to communicate. She's speaking. But why aren't you listening? I mean, why aren't you
riveted! Why isn't this the most important thing? Just one night! You can't even go to dinner. You would rather get wasted then just go have dinner with your own blood. I can not deal with it anymore.

highlights

new series that's what He said started, it was awesome

emily came home

i got 83 on my math test:]

uprising was awesome! i'm starting a creative team.

i am the CSU TOM's rep!

food in the caf still sucks

i'm starting back up taking pictures of people, just for fun. so trendy.

can't take this

i wish you would come home.

since i was fourteen years old, you have been acting like this. its been five years now, and id say only maybe 9months of those fourteen years you have acted like you cared for me. but now i realize you don't. you are a drunk. you can't even commit to going to dinner with me. i am so sick of getting my hopes up. making plans so you can only break them. i'm done. i won't call you anymore or text you. when you decide to put the bottle down, then you can call me.

9/11/2001

Where were you when the world stop turning on that September day Were you in the yard with your wife and children Or working on some stage in L.A. Did you stand there in shock at the sight of that black smoke Rising against that blue sky Did you shout out in anger, in fear for your neighbor Or did you just sit down and cry Did you weep for the children who lost their dear loved ones And pray for the ones who don't know Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble And sob for the ones left below Did you burst out in pride for the red, white and blue And the heroes who died just doin' what they do Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer And look at yourself and what really matters (chorus) I'm just a singer of simple songs I'm not a real political man I watch CNN but I'm not sure I could Tell you the difference in Iraq and Iran But I know Jesus and I talk to God And I remember this from when I was young Faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us And the greatest is love Where were you when the world stop turning on that September day Teaching a class full of innocent children Or driving down some cold interstate Did you feel guilty 'cause you're a survivor In a crowded room did you feel alone Did you call up your mother and tell her you loved her Did you dust off that bible at home Did you open your eyes, hope it never happened And you close your eyes and not go to sleep Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages Or speak to some stranger on the street Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow Go out and buy you a gun Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watchin' And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers Stand in line and give your own blood Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family Thank God you had somebody to love

random boredom thoughts

nine lasts:

cry: june something at wake forest

beverage: red-eye

kiss: cody fiddie

hug: erin laveince

movie seen: the notebook

cd played: mixed cd, chelsea bradford gave me last summer

song played: “blame it on the tetons"--modest mouse

phone call: sara robinson

purchase: Groceries!

eight have you evers:

1. dated a best friend: yes
2. skinny dipped: yes
3. kissed somebody and regretted it: nope
4. fallen in love: yes
5. lost someone you loved: yep
6. been depressed: of course
7. been drunk and thrown up: yep
8. ran away: literally? no. Figuratively, yes.

seven states you’ve been to:

1 South Carolina

2 Arkansas

3 North Carolina

4 California

5 Texas

6 Tennessee

7 Florida

six things you’ve done today:

1 Went to class

2 Fed Pixie and Abbey

3 Watched The Hangover

4 Laughed a lot

5 Procrastinated

6 Texted

five favorite foods in no order:

1 Steak

2 Potatoes

3 Lo-Mein

4 Chocolate Ice-Cream

5 Rice

four people you last talked to in person:

1 Emily

2 Erin

3 Bree

4 Sara

three wishes:

1 have kids

2 travel. travel.

3 be happy.

two things you want to be when you grow up:

1 teacher

2 counselor

one thing you regret:

1 not making better grades in highschool

i thank you

school week

school has been super busy, but super amazing. i can not complain. everyone at school is so nice, and open-minded. i love being at a christian school. i am taking sixteen hours this semester; math, english, art, psych, and health. the first week has been full of worship and opportunities to serve, i am so pumped for the rest of the semester to see what God has in store for me.

Jersey Shoree

‎'This is The Situation right here, my abs are so ripped up,we call it The Situation.'

What do you think about the show?

tomorrow

tomorrow i begin the rest of my college experience at Charleston Southern

eat.pray.love

So i just got back from seeing the move Eat.Pray.Love, its based off a book; of a true tory a woman Elizabeth Gilbert wrote. I loved the movie. I love movies that are inspiring, i like movies/music/books that make me think. This movie made me think a lot.

Eat- I am always worrying about my weight, I have let it consume me, It has taken over me, I look at what i eat then i immeditaly look at my stomach,hips,thighs..etc. Is this what God has made me to be? Yes it is, its his image of perfection so I should accept it.

Pray-In the movie, it was all about mediation, looking for signals. I havent sat down and prayed since I don't even know when.

Love- Ive had my heart completely broken three times. I know I have been in love once. And I believe there is someone in my life right now, that I could fall in love with if he was around more. But i need to stop focusing on finding the right person and focus on finding God.

up in the air

I just got finished watching this movie, and i loved it, I also very much enjoyed the soundtrack :]
1. This Land Is Your Land
2. Security Ballet
3. Goin' Home
4. Taken at All
5. Angel in the Snow
6. Help Yourself
7. Genova
8. Lost in Detroit
9. Thank You Lord
10. Be Yourself [1971 Demo]
11. The Snow Before Us
12. Up in the Air

enough

pisces

August 2010 Pisces Horoscope

Back to the Future

You've got more than your share of unfinished business this month, and it's time to revise both relationships and long-range plans. This August is about deciding what to let go of and commit to pursuing what you truly cannot live without.


this is so true for me right now, tomorrow i'm starting over.

tom and jerry

as much as we tried to sleep that night, we couldn't
the beds were uncomfortable, the air conditioning was broken
the sound of the drunks around us
i wanted so bad for you to take me in your arms
but all you think about was watching tv
you're eyes were glued to that stupid show tom and jerry
watching the cat try to catch the mouse
little did you know i was trying to catch you

song of the week

'you wouldn't like me' by tegan and sara

There's a war inside of me
Do I cause new heartbreak to write a new broken song
Do I push it down or let it run me right into the wind
And I- I feel like I wouldn't like me if I met me
Well I can't stop talking for fear of listening to unwelcome sound
And you haven't called me in weeks and honestly it's bringing me down
Oh I- I feel like I wouldn't like me if I met me
I- I feel like you wouldn't like me if you met me
And don't you worry there's still time
And don't you worry there's still time
There's nothing to live for when I'm sleeping alone
And I wash the windows outside in hopes that the glare will bring you around
I- I feel like I wouldn't like me if I met me
I- I feel like you wouldn't like me if you met me
So don't you worry there's still time
Don't you worry there's still time
Don't you worry there's still time
Don't you worry there's still time
Sunshine is days away I won't be saved I know all the words
I can't say that I'll love you forever
Sunshine is days away I won't be saved I know all the words
I won't say that I'll love you forever

last night

Well, I've been in town for just now fifteen minutes now
And Baby, I feel so down
And I don't know why
I keep walkin' for miles




last night was the first time in awhile, where i can say i actually had fun. and was happy. :[

no one is ever gonna love you more than I do

Sometimes it's jsut about timing, and i think one day time will catch up with us.

"I didn't mean that. I just wanted to try it, to say it, to assert my own sense of free will, but my free will wants you. "


last night i talked to you the first time in a month. and it makes me sad to hear that you aren't doing that great. i think one day when we both figure out our lives, i can only hope that we will be together. i don't think you realize that no matter how many times you let me down, i am still going to love you, and be there for you like i always have.


It's looking like a limb torn off
Or altogether just taken apart
We're reeling through an endless fall
We are the ever-living ghost of what once was

But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one's gonna love you more than I do

And anything to make you smile
It is my better side of you to admire
But they should never take so long
Just to be over then back to another one

But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one's gonna love you more than I do

But someone,
They could have warned you
When things start splitting at the seams and now
The whole thing's tumbling down
Things start splitting at the seams and now
If things start splitting at the seams and now,
It's tumbling down
Hard.

Anything to make you smile
You are the ever-living ghost of what once was
I never want to hear you say
That you'd be better off
Or you liked it that way

But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one's gonna love you more than I do

But someone
They should have warned you
When things start splitting at the seams and now
The whole thing's tumbling down
Things start splitting at the seams and now
If things start splitting at the seams and now,
It's tumbling down
Hard

Song of the Week

World at Large----Modest Mouse

Ice-age heat wave, can't complain
If the world's at large, why should I remain?
Walked away to another plan
Going to find another place, maybe one I can stand
I move on to another day
To a whole new town with a whole new way
Went to the porch to have a thought
Got to the door and again, I couldn't stop
You don't know where and you don't know when
But you still got your words and you got your friends
Walk along to another day
Work a little harder, work another way

Well, uh-uh, baby, I ain't got no plan
We'll float on maybe would you understand?
Going to float on maybe would you understand?
Well, float on maybe would you understand?

The days get shorter and the nights get cold
I like the autumn but this place is getting old
I pack up my belongings and I head for the coast
It might not be a lot but I feel like I'm making the most
The days get longer and the nights smell green
I guess it's not surprising but it's spring and I should leave

I like songs about drifters, books about the same
They both seem to make me feel a little less insane
Walked on off to another spot
I still haven't gotten anywhere that I want
Did I want love, did I need to know?
Why does it always feel like I'm caught in an undertow?

The moths beat themselves to death against the lights
Adding their breeze to the summer nights
Outside, water like air was great
I didn't know what I had that day
Walk a little farther to another plan
You said that you did, but you didn't understand

I know that starting over is not what life's about
But my thoughts were so loud I couldn't hear my mouth
My thoughts were so loud I couldn't hear my mouth
My thoughts were so loud

his love never changes.

John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in me (Jesus) you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]


this morning as i was on the way to church i was feeling really unmotivated to go. i had gotten no sleep last night, and was feeling very cranky. but then i realized i had to go anyways to take Tory and to meet with Sean and Melissa afterwards. so this message at church basically slapped me in the face. every has opinions sometimes others voice theirs more then they need too. and when they do sometimes it makes me angry, it makes me angry to see who my best friend was in high school, who i knew for three years, who came to church with me, who was in my small group, who i spent every day with, trusted with my life, is now a complete stranger. how can someone go from a Christ follower, my best friend, someone i looked up too, to someone who now believes in living life with no morals. it just frustrates me. like what is the world coming too? this morning me and my friend were watching MTV, and the show was called baby high, a school for pregnant girls, like seriously? anyways, i am rambling now. back to the main point, the message at church this morning slapped me across the face. the pastor talked about staying faithful to God. something that I haven't been doing for the past two years. my junior year i went on an awesome mission trip to Memphis TN which opened up my heart. six months later, i was back to a normal teenager, getting drunk and living life with no morals, and plenty regrets. the pastor said this morning "shame on you, the first time, shame on ME, the second time" Ive definitely let myself down knowing the outcome, but doing it anyways. In the bible Joseph was responsible, sensitive, very spiritual, had integrity, and the most important he never gave up. My role as a youth leader to be responsible, spiritual, and most definitely have integrity. I struggle with gossip and i know i do, but the sad part is I'm doing anything to help myself. so starting today, i am going to stop gossip and try very hard not to do it. I refuse to give up. I mean what is enimen never picked up a pen and paper? Would he be a famous rapper? probably not. but he did not give up. Joesph was defeated over and over again, and he never gave up. He relied on God, he trusted God, and God provided for him. If for one moment i stop, we stop thinking about ourselves,and what so and so is doing, and start thinking about God our lifes will be changed.

Check out this Blog

http://www.nostalgicdestruction.blogspot.com/

i'm done.

I'm done I feel like talking
Without you here there is more to say
I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy

you come and go as you please.
you'll call me up one day just to talk, and then I won't hear from you for a month.
you toy with my emotions.
your always there but never really there.
you tell me one thing, then go and contradict yourself.
your a hypocrit.
I see right through you.

Get over yourself.

I keep giving it in but I should know better,because there was something about the way you looked at me and it's strange how that things change
you look at me and say "you frustrate me" like you're thinking of lines and times, I missed my chance
And chances are it won't be coming back to me

I keep giving in, but I know better.


"Well I swear I tried again, your never visible on the weekdays When I need you to do what you can't afford to do
You better watch your tone. Your not invisible you know
I'll do what I gotta do to stop the sound coming

Cause the truth is you're probably not as bad as I make you out to be
To the boys and the girls, that will listen closely. No
I'm the one that is happy. You can write the coolest songs
I was wrong. Yeah I'm always wrong.

And my God what do we have here.
I've been trying hard and you've been dying hard for years now

Well I swear I did it all
I'll always be my best flaw.

Please just pick up the phone, am I invincible, you know
I'll do what I've gotta do to stop the sound coming

Cause the truth is you're probably not as bad as I thought that you were being
To the boys and myself, we're just tired of listening. No
I'm the one that is sorry. Help me write the coolest songs
You were wrong. Yeah you're always wrong.

Cause the truth is that no one, truly knows what the hell it is you're doing
When we ask are you dead or are you just sleeping Oh yeah
I'm the one that is happy. I don't like your shitty songs
You were wrong, yeah you're always wrong."

you used me.

Somebody tell me you’ve got love figured out, because I got news for you,it’s pretty messy right now. But I guess it’s always been that way. Wanting to be loved, to find somebody that makes your heart ache in a good way.. feel understood..


"I've come to the conclusion that if having things turn out the way you wanted them to is the measure of a successful life, then some would say that I'm a failure. The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past. And recognize that every day won't be sunny, and when you find yourself lost in the darkness and despair remember it's only in the black of night you see the stars. And those stars will lead you back home. So don't be afraid to make mistakes, or stumble and fall, cause most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for. Maybe you'll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination."




“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

I can't change what has been said or done, and right now I'm done trying to fix things. Phone works two ways, communication works two ways. I think, I've done my part. When you're ready, I'll listen just like I always have. The past is the past. You can't hold grudges, it doesn't do anything. I know, I held one for too long. You can't be bitter, you have to be "better" and get over everything. We learned our timing sucks, and thats that. You said last year, "I barely know you, but I don't want to lose you as a friend." Well know you know me a lot better then most people, same for me knowing you. I don't want to lose you, but right now I am, If thats how you want things, then I can't change you're mind...

under my umbrella

Lately I’ve been worrying about a bunch of stuff.. everything going on with my parents, friendships, life changing decisions, stress from school, working, next year.. a lot of stuff. but you know what? It’s not important and I really shouldn’t be stressing over it because God is in control. He’s in control of all of it and I have nothing to worry about. He will take care of it. I just have to pray and trust in Him through everything and it will all be fine. I’m confused about a friendship, but I’m just going to keep praying and God will work it out. I’m worried about my parents, but God has a plan for them. I know I haven't been giving my 1% lately with God, if it is God that is 99%. But I am going to start seeking again.

Reflecting on this year is not so difficult, it was a chaotic one for me, despite the laughs, fond memories and new friendships I gained. Chaotic in the spiritual sense, I was too busy about so many things, I got sick most of the time, And stressing about too many things, I didn't realize that God can take care of everything if I just let him.

God please open my eyes and show me the way.

You are the reason I live in this world.

Tomorrow is Christmas, which is celebrated as the day of Christ’s birth. The birth of Christ was God’s gift to us, to everyone. December is my favorite month because it’s so pretty, the cold air feels amazing, it’s the end of another year, and it’s Christmas. Christmas is the reminder to us of God’s love for us. He loves us so much that he sacrificed his son to save us.

This Christmas I’m going to stop worrying about all the crap going on in my life and just think about God’s gift and his amazing love for us, because that’s all that really matters.